Lessons In Political Systems

Democratic

You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

Republicanism

You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none. So?

Socialist

You have two cows.

The goverment takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

Comunist

You have two cows.

The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

Capitalism, American style

You have two cows.

You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

Bureaucracy, American style

You have two cows.

Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

American corporation

You have two cows.

You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have done sized are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

French corporation

You have two cows.

You go on strike becouse you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.

Japanese corporation

You have two cows.

You redesing them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

German corporation

You have two cows.

Your engeneer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excelent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of paid vacation per year.

Italian corporation

You have two cows.

But you don´t know where they are. While ambling around you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch.

Life is good.

Russian corporation

You have two cows.

You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Russian Mafia shows up and takes however many cows you actually had.